Reasons I don’t have a boyfriend:
- I’ve never seen Lord of the Rings and I honestly don’t really want to
- I talk about poop in casual conversation
- I think peanut butter is disgusting
- All my friends are lesbians
- HOOOOLD UPS. you cannot be my sister/past-self and not watch/like LOTR. but good for you, as i was around your age when i started watching it. so we can remedy this. (if you want. no pressure.
(a little pressure.) - poop is hilarious.
- why eat peanut butter when you can have nutella?
- I AM NOT A LESBIAN. my super hot boyfriend is proof.
- also i love you and coming from future-you, don’t date anyone before 25. they’re losers. ESPECIALLY the one in high school. watch out for him. and the one freshman year. and the one after that from the west coast. and the after that from the west coast. and especially especially the one from south dakota. but you can keep the one that caught you off guard in a way so wonderful that you can barely believe you’re so lucky. he’s a keeper.
- side note: as your big sister, i will eat anyone that comes within a five mile radius of you with romantic intentions. :D
